Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
