She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
