oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
