New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
