Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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