hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I need to align my fucking chakras
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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