sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
