He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Vodka?
Forever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
