Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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