Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
