so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
