how hairy? two words: wookie tits
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
