we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
