So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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