1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
