I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
