So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I love you.
Bad choice
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
