I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
