Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
