This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
