atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
