Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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