There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
