when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
