Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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