i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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