I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
