he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
