It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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