Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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