I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
