:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
