I wish i was in the wii world.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
