haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
