Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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