I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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