I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
