I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
