the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
