its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
