woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
