do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I will pee on everything he values.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
