you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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