I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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