The maid of honor just puked.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
