there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
