Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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