Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
