Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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