Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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