It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
