It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
